forgot to name a post because of artistic differences with the artist
i haven't done a free association post in a long time. usually i come in with varying degrees of subject matter to splatter across the page but today i don't. i just wanted to pontificate in between thoughts, functions, and beliefs or better stated my attempt to kill time. i got into a long discussion with a friend today about the future and more importantly where/what the fuck we are both going to be doing. being the big shot that i am i feel like i have a handle on my future but i would be lying. i do that a lot. what struck me about this conversation is that again i am at the throes of another milestone in my life. grad school is going to be hard but i am about to finish something that is impressive. my college days. i'm done. i'm gone. i have no liver. not much else can be said for losing the days of my supposed youth to slim words and bad health problems. it seems like just yesterday i was a pip squeak freshmen learning to play quarters with Beast Lite and looking around for as much cheap vodka as possible to forget feelings.
to say i matured and "grown up" would be a lie. i haven't and i don't know when that supposed day will be but it happening now. i am still a procrastinator but i can handle tons and tons of responsibility. i am lost and confused regardless of how much i know about what i am going to do with the rest of my life. yet, i'm not complaining. i don't pity myself or my situation. i have made mistakes and a lot of them but i don't care anymore. i have made people mad and i have done some bad things but i could care less right now because every battle scar and paralyzing belief has been showcased prominently on my sleeve for all to see. now i just put a little more inside myself and live within my own world. i have succeeded only in places where i feel i needed to.
changing paces. gonna be putting up a lot of reviews and articles in the coming weeks. i am writing for our school newspaper and i feel like writing more lately. currently listening to Yellowcard's new album Lights and Sounds. will have that review up soon but other keeping fighting. peace.
The Boys.....Blake, Quinn, Josh, Matt
all of those cups went to make a Beeramid on dollar beer night...
The Alcoholicz....it's our beer pong team name.
the not so heavily guarded take on cheating in the media OR my review of match point
so this is going to be a thinnly veiled essay about my review of Woody Allen's new movie and the idea of cheating in the media. i have done a lot of research on romantic relationships and more importantly in the area of media related feelings about romantic stuff. when i mean a lot i mean i casually/half heartedly worked on some projects, read some things, and like to casually/always blab on and on about things when i consumed a half a beeramid of cans. i am not for cheating and let me get that on the record. yet i feel that it is a viable and important role to portray in the media. why? because it gets you thinking about the different types of human condtions/emotions. last night as i watch Jonathan Rhys Meyers betray his wife repeatedly i had to think what was he thinking. why was he doing this and then of course i would analyze my situation. cheating is such a fundamentally bad thing especially when it is on your wife and that comes from my upbringing. but if i sat here and wrote that it doesn't happen and isn't important to analyze from a psychological perspective then i would be doing the blah blah blah talk an injustice.
the human condition/emotions that were displayed in this tense and quite good film (good job Mr. Allen for making a good flick by the way) made me squirm and pay attention to everything. i can't say that i have experienced what i saw on film but i know what it is like to be in a relationship and the feelings that wrap themselves around your psyche. this world isn't easy and love is a big bitch that likes to kick you in the balls sometimes and rub it the others. every person can relate to some sort emotion when it comes to human infidelity or the real truth that of true fidelity. there is no science to these things and that is why a successful monogamus relationship is something so powerful. like i said i am not condoning anything but at least it makes people think about things and that is important in any manner of the fact because only then can beliefs or changes come out. i truly believe that.
Sometimes in life it is better to be lucky rather than good. i do believe that and i have been lucky and unlucky all in good shares of the term over the span of my 21 years. also i have learned absolutely nothing about anything and that is because i look to learn and think to much so i stopped thinking all together. try and follow that sentence why don't ya.
the last first day and the freewheelin beliefs....
this is uncharacterisc of me. writing during school in a blog i fail to keep up to date with my mindless drivel. but today was a different day. today was my last first day of college as an undergraduate. i am finishing up my degree here at UW-Green Bay and emotions were mixed. i woke up, showered, got my usual cup of coffee and listen to some reggae and pop punk on the way into school. i went into work and i did everything like i normally do. but this is last time i am going to do that. i haven't portrayed my recent emotions about the stage of which my life is in because i don't feel like boring people. as i moved through my day in quiet calm i hid a lot of things from my friends and peers. i'm scared and i am content. i am scared about the future because god knows it is now. i thought that when i was leaving high school and coming here but that isn't the case because now i have to go somewhere else to complete the rest of my young adult life.
so at the end of the day after bad tv, some new music, and quiet resolve of home i stumbled across the above album cover. obviously it is Bob Dylan and i have started my long journey of back cataloging and that is where i started. it is a pussy first move but you have to start somewhere. i really wish i could feel like this album cover. granted, i could intrepret the album thousands of ways but today i focused on the title and placed myself down that crowded street. i am not a freewheelin man and that picture will never be me. my future is uncertain and i don't have the ambition to break out of routine drudgery. yet i feel somewhat at peace for the first time in my life. for a man like myself who has spent the past four years trying to drink people under the table and be the biggest overachiever in Green Bay my life has been consumed by me relentless search for the perfect soundtrack to my life. i haven't found anything that can even begin to sum up my personal convictions, beliefs or life thus far. by i wanted a soundtrack for today because today felt like a day that should have been set to music.
i don't really know what the whole point of this essay is to tell you the truth. i guess i am attempting that lovely self narration i am so found of that i stumble a few choice words across a blank page. who knows but today was the end of something. i don't know when the next is going to start. stay tuned.
fumes, office basketball, and the second hand
the office is a funny place. no not the british of american television shows. i mean the place in which you work. i work in at the University Union which means i get paid practically nothing to do absolutely nothing. so therefore i don't take my job very seriously. here is what i have done today in the course of my 8 hour day during winter break. 1. played online video games 2. stared at the clock 3. played a rousing game of office basketball 4. got high off the paint fumes because we are redecorating the back wall. yes folks that's your tax dollars at work. if i could make this into a full time job all the time i would be bored out of my mind every day of which i am right now. and i would have an unbelievably awesome blog and probably get a lot of other work done. but i can't do this because of my chronic ADHD causes me to not accomplish the latter and resort to the clock staring again. so i sat here and i started thinking about the dynamics of our office which is primarily run by college students who i can clasify into a couple categories. 1. the hardworker: you don't see many of them here because honestly why 2. the normal dependable worker: does his/her job and doesn't complain and every now and then does extraordinary things 3: the slacker: doesn't do any work or the very very minimum we have a bunch of those 4. the goofball, nut, wacko, slacker: i.e. most of the guys. people like myself and my friend tyler who get so bored by work spend an hour playing and make up rules to an endless system of basketball. we aren't alone in this fashion because this happens all over the country. i just love the fact that i can get away with anything i want at work and still get paid for it. damn if i am not the laziest man on the planet but i still get paid to sit here, write in my blog, and ridcule/rant all i want. this is what we are fighting for. the freedom to do absolutely jackshit. god bless america.
The HEROs: Guilty Pleasure of the Year
Cartel- Chroma I didn't really know how to properly award this album because it isn't amazing and it isn't groundbreaking. Yet for some reason this album saved me from a lot of things this year. It saved my relationship with my girlfriend. It saved me from boredom on so many car rides. It also gave me a great chance just to forget my hectic life at times when i needed it the most. I had one of those years which was challenging and problematic but for some reason this was my escape. Will simply beautiful voice with the hard racing powerpop behind it made me want to keep listening to it over and over again. I can say all i want for my supposed taste and criticism of music but i am still a sucker for the pop life every now and again. The biggest stand out track is by far The Ministrel's Prayer. With simple guitar chords, symphony, and drum effects plus the reaching vocals it is a gem of pop songwriting. This music is pure pop perfection and that is a much needed item in the cacophony of so much other crap. Like i said this album did a lot of things for me this year and therefore i thought it would be important to recognize it as such.
The HEROs: Top 10 Albums of 2005
1. Bright Eyes- I'm Wide Awake, It's MorningIt was hard to pick my number one albums of the year so i went with what i felt. The reason i chose this album for the years best is for a couple of reasons. If you look at the emotions across this album that Conor is singing it described my years. I went through break ups, stressful school schedules, and questioned my future by consuming mass quantites of liquor. So that makes my decision to but the subtle beauty of this album so perfect for 2005. Stand out tracks are Land Locked Blues and Lua both showcasing great songwriting talent and simple melodies. Conor is my hope for the future of music. He is a drunk but we all know this but he is still an amazing songwriter and my vote for the heir apparent of the future of music.
2. My Morning Jacket- ZMy reasons for this album being number two is a pure enjoyment factor. The hipster judge inside me would try to claim a lot of things about the apparent use of sonic qualities mixed with that bonafide southern rock but i am not going to go there. Z is the type of album that i can place in my car on the way home and totally enjoy to totality of it all. Even my mother, upon hearing it on our car ride home, asked what the name of this cd was because she really liked it. Jim James does an awesome job making a phenomenal cd that you can listen to all way through.
3. Sleater-Kinney- The WoodsFrom the very first notes of this album you know it is going to be different. The three girls from Oregon do an amazing job stripping down their chords and making this the rawest album to date. The Fox is an amazing opener and it just burns your ears to start but then again it feels so good to play it to 11 in the car. Other songs like Modern Girl are back to the sweet sounds we have all come to love on their past albums and yet it seems a little out of place at times on this album. This band has become one of my favorite and most reliable band to come out with good music. I hope for more in the coming years.
4. Sufjan Stevens- IllinoisExpansive, creative, overwhelming, beautiful. These are just some of the words that was over my brain every time i listen to this album. Some of the songs are repetitive but then again some are so unbelievably well put together in the orchestral pop fashion that i just fell in love. The two tracks that stand out for me are John Wayne Gacy Jr. which tells the story of the serial killer and The Avalanche was is a simple extra track that you can get off of iTunes. Both are just so beautiful and you wouldn't think that a song about a serial killer could be so moving. Perfect background music and so much fun to listen to at the same time as you pick out every detail Mr. Stevens pieces.
5. Bloc Party- Silent AlarmWe i first purchased this album from the British natives i liked it but it wasn't amazing. Then i started listening to it again at the end of the year. This is another one of those cds that haunt your cd collection that you didn't think was amazing the first time but when you listen again it is fabulous. My favorite is by far Like Eating Glass which starts off the album. Kele Okereke's vocals are light yet powerful as he flows through all of the tracks herein. I think that these guys rank up there right now with bands i would most like to see live. If they could even begin to capture what they have on this album i think it would be a great show.
6. Kanye West- Late RegistrationOk so i am the only one that didn't put this album at number one or even in my top 5. For those that know me, they know i am a not a hip hop guy. But there is always a hip hop album that comes out during the year that i love. This happens to be the one and i will say a lot of the same things everyone else has been saying. Kanye talks a great game but he also backs it up. Best produced album of the year undoubtedly. Golddigger can make even this white boy dance a little jig no and then. The track that really strikes my fancy is Hey Mama. The sweet shout out to his mama is touching and sweet pop gold. He should so release this around mother's day. Buy this album. It's good but you don't need me to tell you that.
7. The New Pornographers- Twin Cinema
When you get to this point in the countdown you start to reach and look for albums to place in the end. I picked this one up at the end of summer and it came at an unusual time. Why do i place it at number seven on the list might you say? Like Sufjan's album this feels expansive. The band is large and the musical experience just feels like it is full of interesting possibilities. Jackie, Dressed in Cobras is an awesome song with Nico Case using the velvety voice to sooth you through it. I like that if you listen to this album intensely you can pull a lot of things out of it but also you can just play it and not pay attention. It plays both rolls and i like that.
8. Death Cab for Cutie- Plans
So why would i put an album from one of my favorite bands low on this ridiculous list. Because it isn't as good as the last one. I don't mean to play that game but unfortunately i am going to. Transatlanticism is sooo much better but that is not saying this is bad. It is a sweet album and unbelievably perfect for those lovely sappy mixtapes i used to make for women i fancy. Some songs just loose themselves and don't reach the unbelievable expectations that i had for Plans. I still love it though and simple songs like I Will Follow You Into the Dark and the more complicated What Sarah Said light my mood all the time.
9. Franz Ferdinand- You Could Have It So Much Better
Also another album that came with high expectations from a band i just learned about before everyone got all hot and bothered about Take Me Out. Of all the albums on this list this is the one i have listened to the least. I am gettting to it but i am slow at these things sometimes. Regardless of my ineptitude i know that what i have listened to on this album is great. Nothing above and beyond the last album but for some people and some bands change is a bad thing. One of the top 5 bands that i want to party with and also the ones with the most amount of quasi-homosexual references per song known to man. Hooray.
10. The White Stripes- Get Behind Me Satan
So this is a last minute change while making this list. I was going to put a random guility pleasure or something i personally wanted here. But then i thought i need to put on this album on this list for a couple of reasons. First, i got the chance to see Jack and Meg live this year for the first time and by far one of the best shows i have ever seen. Second My Doorbell is damn catchy song. This album has it's flaws as the grusome twosome finally show that they can't do everything as fast as they do. It slows at times and mistakes are here and there. But i think that if this is there bad album out of their great and bizarre career then damn i wish i was that bad.
