critically acclaimed

the last first day and the freewheelin beliefs....

this is uncharacterisc of me. writing during school in a blog i fail to keep up to date with my mindless drivel. but today was a different day. today was my last first day of college as an undergraduate. i am finishing up my degree here at UW-Green Bay and emotions were mixed. i woke up, showered, got my usual cup of coffee and listen to some reggae and pop punk on the way into school. i went into work and i did everything like i normally do. but this is last time i am going to do that. i haven't portrayed my recent emotions about the stage of which my life is in because i don't feel like boring people. as i moved through my day in quiet calm i hid a lot of things from my friends and peers. i'm scared and i am content. i am scared about the future because god knows it is now. i thought that when i was leaving high school and coming here but that isn't the case because now i have to go somewhere else to complete the rest of my young adult life.

so at the end of the day after bad tv, some new music, and quiet resolve of home i stumbled across the above album cover. obviously it is Bob Dylan and i have started my long journey of back cataloging and that is where i started. it is a pussy first move but you have to start somewhere. i really wish i could feel like this album cover. granted, i could intrepret the album thousands of ways but today i focused on the title and placed myself down that crowded street. i am not a freewheelin man and that picture will never be me. my future is uncertain and i don't have the ambition to break out of routine drudgery. yet i feel somewhat at peace for the first time in my life. for a man like myself who has spent the past four years trying to drink people under the table and be the biggest overachiever in Green Bay my life has been consumed by me relentless search for the perfect soundtrack to my life. i haven't found anything that can even begin to sum up my personal convictions, beliefs or life thus far. by i wanted a soundtrack for today because today felt like a day that should have been set to music.

i don't really know what the whole point of this essay is to tell you the truth. i guess i am attempting that lovely self narration i am so found of that i stumble a few choice words across a blank page. who knows but today was the end of something. i don't know when the next is going to start. stay tuned.

posted by critically acclaimed @ 10:29 PM