critically acclaimed

the cunning use of flags

who ever invented the whole process of love can fuck off. it had to be a woman because like we say here in our house during a poker game. the bitch (the queen) will fuck you over. it's the truth. this rant is mostly out of frustration from a long weekend of bickering and moaning with women. if you want to know the semantics of that whole situation just go to my livejournal. but anyways why is love the worst word in the dicionary? or better stated why is a four letter word the most weighted thing ever. that sucks and i know i am not alone in this sentiment. i think the primary reason why love is so complicated for me is because of one line that i quoted to a new found friend of mine. i am only a sucker for two things in this world. girls and music. both go together and someone can make the chicken or the egg argument i would probably throw a fit because i don't like eggs. but enough funny business the real purpose of this essay is to talk about the cunning art of staking your claim. relationships are like owning property. you have to know what is yours because you just rent a love. those are called hookers and those are not the type of girls that you bring home to mom unless they are into that stuff and that always costs extra. i always find it quite amazing how possessive most women get when they feel or know that a man is their's. it is astounding because i am not saying that i don't do it as well. but i do it more from a bragging perspective mostly. the subtle complacency of being able to stake your flag in a methaphorical sense is fun and easy. it is simpler for guys because maybe i am the only guy that does it but when i hear a girl say she has a boyfriend or see the guy i stop my assault right there. that is a stopping point unless the girl is ungodly hot and dating an asshole then it is your duty to get her away from that guy.

eddie izzard has a line about how we colonized countries with the cunning use of flags. the same can be said about women. this happened to me last night. i was flagged. and since i have gone through a gamet of relationship related drama lately i see the underlying use of flags that women do. it is so bizarre because it isn't just relationship related because that would be way to easy. a couple of my friends and girls that i occasionally hang out with do it as well. they want all the attention and we can't give it to anyone else. but i just want to be able to do what i need to do and if that includes talking to another girl whilst having some beverages then that is what i am going to do. i know where the perverbial line is and i won't cross that unless 1. i had way way too much to drink then it is expected that i become a horn dog, it's science folks 2. i know that i can cross that line which is actually never because it doesn't matter some girl always has a flag in me. and really that's it because this isn't much of an analysis. just more of retelling of a stand up routine that is connected in some way to relationship advice from a guy that really should give anyone advice about stuff like that. if i could ever start to listen to myself then maybe i wouldn't have drama. but that would be too easy and what's the fun in that.

posted by critically acclaimed @ 11:14 PM